Today is the Winter Solstice. It is the shortest day and the longest night
of the year. We felt it coming. These days, the light seemed to end too soon.
The leaves have mostly fallen from the deciduous trees and the migratory birds
are now gone to warmer places. The lake
is practising freezing over and the chipmunks haven`t been seen for a while
now. We gave them lots of corn and
peanuts in the fall and we imagine them now hunkered in their underground dens
sleeping and eating. We feel like
hunkering by the fireplace and doing the same.
Traditionally at this time, people have festivals that
feature light and fire. They gather to
feast and celebrate and tell stories with family and friends. Somehow we are more open to the kindnesses
and needs of strangers at this time of year.
Somehow at this transition from getting darker to getting lighter, the
mundane becomes magical and our guards are lowered. We allow the joy and the pain of others into
our own hearts.
I read a story in the newspaper about Mike Mallard, a
homeless man in Toronto. At this time of
year he collects cans and bottles to exchange for money which he uses to buy
Christmas ornaments from the dollar store.
Then he decorates a tree in the local park for everyone to enjoy. He said that it makes him think of home and
his 91 year old mom who lives up north.
Readers responded with offers to help Mike go to see his mom for
Christmas. It was easy for people to
understand his desire to see his mom. Most
people have had a mom at some time and moms know they would like to see their
children. Mike responded that he would
like to see the money used to help other homeless people. “That would be so much better,” he said. “But I`d also love to see my mom…” he mused. (Metro
News, Dec. 14, 2017).
I am at that age when I and some of my friends have aged
parents as well as grandchildren. We
watch our parents become more fragile, more vulnerable and move in to fill the
gaps. It is a delicate balance between
helping and taking over. It is a dance
to offer assistance to make life enjoyable and to take care of physical, mental
and emotional needs as our parents let go of abilities, responsibilities and
memories while not treating them as children. Honouring the wisdom they have
gathered through their lives and respecting their rights to live their lives in
their own ways invites us to lower our guards, open our hearts and grow more
comfortable in our own skin while we prepare ourselves for our own aging and
the inevitable loss of our parent.
It seems to be the opposite of caring for a new baby. The eyes of a new born suggest that they have
come into this world with all the wisdom of the universe. There is a knowing in their wide open gaze. We offer them welcome and often feel what
seems to be an surprising if not seemingly unreasonable amount of joy at their
arrival. Families rally, especially if
the baby is early or has special needs.
From out of seeming nowhere, comes strength, love and patience. These tiny beings draw out our best. They help new parents to grow up
overnight. Grandparents remember their
own babies who are somehow these new competent parents and still their own
babies all at once. How did that happen
so fast, they wonder. Life seems brighter and more hopeful as we delight in
every new accomplishment of this new one.
I was pondering these things as I recently walked through
the forest, newly covered in snow. The
forest is a wonderful place to work things out.
It is quiet and beautiful and the trees offer their own wisdom. Tiny saplings, fallen ancient trees, and mighty
adults all have their interconnected place in the life of a forest. I began thinking of life as a straight line
with a beginning and an end but that didn`t seem to fit at all. It didn`t accurately
describe what I was seeing all around me.
Then the idea of a circle came to me. I imagined my partner`s new baby grandson on
the circle. And then his parents and grandparents a little further on and even
further on his great grandfather who was now very close to the newborn on the
circle in my imagination. I thought of
all of them travelling this circle, circumnavigating life together and that
seemed to work for me. It seemed to fit
with what I was seeing as I walked down the snowy wooded paths.
As the earth circumnavigates its ancient pathway around
the sun there are transitions points which we mark; spring and fall equinoxes
and the summer and winter solstices.
They are an opportunity for us to pay attention to the bigger celestial
picture. Just like the transitions of
birth and death, they take us outside of ordinary time. They invite us to be present, to enter the
transitions of others and walk with them, learn from them and understand how we
are connected as we travel together. Transitions offer us gifts. Not the kind you wrap and put under a tree
but the kind that you carry with you always.
These are the gifts I wish for you this solstice.