Looking Into the Faces of Unsung S/heroes

On the walls of the second floor of Daniels Spectrum in the Regent Park neighbourhood of Toronto are the beautiful faces of African grandmothers who have lost their children to AIDS and are now raising their grandchildren.  As part of the Scotiabank CONTACT  Photography Festival, the Stephen Lewis Foundation  (SLF) is hosting this exhibit called Unsung S/heroes.  Self-taught photographer Alexis MacDonald who is also SLF’s Director of External Relations has captured candid moments and portraits in natural light of some of these amazing women.  

One of the photographs from the exhibit

As I walked the halls I could see a whole range of emotions on their faces.  On the walls painted blue you could see the shared grief of grandchild and grandmother, sadness, fear, fatigue and worry for the future.  On the yellow walls were faces that expressed joy, love, fierce determination, the power of community, courage, tenderness, resilience and strength.  In between the pictures were quotes from some of the women:

“Tell me, who has to be stronger on the planet than an African woman?  So if you make it to be an older African woman, you must be the strongest of all.”

Mama Zodwa Ndlovu, South Africa

“All my children died.  Now when I go out to the field to work, I go with a baby on the back, a baby in one arm and a hoe in the other arm.”

Grandmother Evelyn of Reach One Touch One, Uganda

The Stephen Lewis Foundation builds relationships of mutual respect and trust with African community-based organizations.  SLF provides direct support to the local grassroots groups that have the expertise to work with these grandmothers, their grandchildren, people living with HIV/AIDS  and women.  Since 2003, SLF has partnered with over 300 grassroots African groups with more than 1100 initiatives in the 15 African countries that have been the most affected by the AIDS pandemic.

African grandmothers have stepped up to become parents to their orphaned grandchildren, helping them through the grief of losing their parents and sending them to school while harvesting crops, creating local savings and loan groups, educating others about HIV prevention and treatment, as well as coming up with innovative ways of generating income.  They have formed support groups and are also lobbying governments for better social services due to their added responsibilities.

In 2006, SLF began the Grandmothers to Grandmothers campaign that linked Canadian grandmothers to African grandmothers.  These Canadian groups are still in existence over ten years later.  Their three goals are to raise funds to meet the needs of African grandmothers and the children they care for; to raise awareness about the expertise and leadership of Africa`s grandmothers; and to build solidarity between grandmothers to sustain the changes that need to take place to turn the tide of AIDS in Africa.

In October of 2015, 500 African grandmothers from every region of Uganda met at the First National Grandmothers Gathering.  “Together they expressed their grief, outrage, resilience and hope for the future. (Grassroots, Fall 2015, SLF)  They formulated their demands and wrote a powerful call to action: the  Ugandan Grandmothers` Statement.

Here is a quote from their Statement:

We have done our part.  We care for the sick, we work the land, we hold our collective memory, and fueled by our love we raise the next generations, provide food, schooling, homes and security.

For far too long we have not been counted, we have not been valued, we have been made invisible.  It is time for our contributions to be recognized and our rights to be protected.

The power of these grandmothers comes through in the photo exhibit. Alexis MacDonald has taken them from invisible to visible.  One picture of a grandmother spinning cotton is accompanied by this quote from the spinner:

“I am a cotton spinner.  When I spin my thread I sing my hymns of sadness.  I sing the loss of my sons and daughters into my cotton.  I sing my sorrows into the balls of thread as they spin onto the spool.  I sing and spin away my tragedies.  This is how I go on.”

Grandmother Nigatea, Ethopia, Developing the Family Together

You can learn more about Grandmothers to Grandmothers groups on the SLF website.  The local group where I live is called Grandmothers and Grandothers so that anyone can feel welcome to join.  So far, according to the SLF website, Canadians have raised $24 million for the Grandmothers Campaign.  If you want to see Canadian grandmothers doing flash mobs to raise awareness across Canada last year just click here.  Older women making themselves and their African friends visible.  We are surrounded by Unsung S/heroes and their allies and you just might just be inspired to join them!

Spring Song

Trillium

On an early spring evening we decided to go for a walk in my favourite forest, Grant's Woods.  The forest floor was covered in trilliums.  Only a few had their blossoms opened.  Most had their blossoms closed tightly by the three green sepals.  Only a hint of white gave a clue about what was about to be revealed.  I wondered if they would all open at once, when it got warm enough.

May apple emerges in forest

May apples emerged from the earth like closed umbrellas that opened once they achieved the height needed for the large leaf to open up.  Blue cohosh had already shot up to several feet and were now opening their tiny yellow flowers.  Wild leeks and wild garlic grew in abundant patches throughout the forest. 

Wild ginger

Wild ginger had burst through the soil and opened it’s heart shaped leaves as well.  It was like welcoming old friends back again as we pointed them out to each other. We greeted them as if at a party recognizing people we knew.

Last year's dead brown leaves of the mixed forest of maples, red oaks, beeches, ash, white pine, cedar, and birch where moved aside and covered up by the new green emerging life.  After a long winter, the sight of these rejuvenated me.  For supper we had had wild leeks and fiddleheads and I imagined their new spring energy coursing through me.

Marsh Marigold

In the marshy areas, marsh marigold flowers were vibrant yellow setting off their rich green foliage magnificently.  They made me feel as if the marsh was smiling brightly at us.  Green cattail leaves were shooting straight out of the water as if trying to reach the sky as other water plants emerged from the depths.  But it was getting dark now.

As we made our way to the parking lot, the sun began to set with beautiful oranges and reds streaking across the sky.  The still leafless trees were intricately silhouetted by the coloured light behind them and we stopped to breath it all it.

Sunset over Georgian Bay

We drove west on our way home, into the full spectacle of the changing sunset.  Large pools of water in the fields mirrored the light show and set the dark fields on fire.  We drove without speaking, just taking in all the glory of each moment.  When we arrived home, we could see the sun still setting over Georgian Bay so we drove past the driveway and down to the lake to watch the end of the show over the water.  Now  it was pale oranges and grey clouds, dark water splashing in waves onto the beach.  We watched nighttime arrive peaceful and calm and then headed back up the hill to the house and the warmth of the fire.

Our eyes and hearts were full and we were grateful for the beauty that had greeted and surrounded us from the earth, the water, the fire in the sky and All Our Relations.

Bridging the Divide

I recently took a short 45 minute on-line course offered by edX.  EdX offers free MOOC's or Massive Open Online Courses.  It was started by a professor at MIT and now hundreds of thousands of students from all over the world have taken all kinds of university courses online.  The founder describes this as the "democratization of education."   The course that I took was called Communication Skills for Bridging Divides which you can check out here or at edx.org.

This course attracted me because of the polarization that I am seeing in Europe and North America in the last year.  If you watch the news, you will see countless examples of politicians representing worldviews that seem to be light years apart.  So I thought I would learn some skills for bridging these divides.

The course designers explained the difference between debate, discussion and dialogue.  According to them, debate is set up to have a winner and a loser and discussion seeks to come up with a solution or a decision.  But the purpose of dialogue is to understand the other person’s point of view more fully.  Rather than seeking closure, dialogue uncovers more options. 

It seems to me that we float between these three all the time even in the same conversation.  So often we like to score points or try to convince the other person of our ideas while looking for the closure of agreement.  The idea that you would only be seeking to understand the other person’s point of view and not pushing your own agenda sounded like something I don’t hear very often.  And so I decided to learn more about that.

Whereas, discussions assume that all parties have the same beliefs or worldview, a dialogue is designed to bridge the divide between different worldviews or beliefs.  Dialogue has to be collaborative to work as it involves trust.  However one person can model this and begin a dialogue.  The course listed five ways to facilitate this.

First, you can consciously choose to believe that the other person has good intentions.  This reduces the likelihood of being judgmental and helps one to focus on understanding the other person’s viewpoint.  The second strategy is to ask clarifying questions or paraphrase what you think you heard to make sure that that is correct.  Phrases such as “Can you say more about that," or saying that "this is an unfamiliar way of looking at this for me. Can you give me more details," are ways to gain more understanding.  

The third strategy is to listen humbly, putting aside your own viewpoints and showing that you are listening.  The fourth strategy is to pause when the person is finished talking instead of jumping right back in with your own comments.  This can be a real change for those of us who are used to a fast paced, fast talking, competitive environment.  And lastly, look for common ground, something that you both agree on to build bridges.  If that is impossible, you could always simply thank the person for sharing their point of view.

I got an opportunity to practice some of these strategies.  I was talking to someone about a best selling book that I had recently read.  Most people I talked to didn't like the book and neither did I.  But this person actually liked the book.  I told her that she was the first person that I had met who did like it and asked her to tell me what she liked about it.  As I listened to her point of view, I gained more insight.  I realized that there were people who thought the same way about life as the author and that they would enjoy the book.  We could agree that we simply liked different things.  And we did both agree that we didn't think it should have won the prize that it did.

Sound bites, twitter, and texts make it easy to be get your message out but they are not so good for understanding points of view, listening to subtleties and finding ways to understand complex issues.  It may be that we need to learn and re-learn how to communicate so that we can collaborate, cooperate and take care of each other.

I ran into a story in the newspaper that seemed to be a good example of this idea. Sam Fiorella's son Lucas lived silently with depression for about five years.  It wasn't until he died by suicide that Sam learned how many others his son had reached out to, while he himself was suffering.  At Lucas' funeral many young people told his family how Lucas reaching out to them had helped them to not take their lives. 

This inspired Sam to found The Friendship Bench.  This non-profit organization provides space on campuses where students can talk about mental health issues.  The group installs bright yellow benches in high schools, colleges and universities across Canada to encourage students to talk to each other.  During Mental Health Week this year (May 1 – 7, 2017) they will install benches in five new schools.  The benches are a physical place to sit and talk as well as a reminder to take the time to talk about mental health.  

On the website yellowisforhello.org there are short videos with mental health messages and tips.  Sam suggests taking the media out of social media and encourages young people to get out with others.

Perhaps all our technological progress has taken us too far away from each other.  But humans are resilient and adaptable and we can always learn new things to make our lives better.  You may want to experiment yourself with dialogue and see what stories and new ideas emerge.  

Walking for Science on Earth Day

The air was fresh, the sun was shining, the forsythia bushes were explosions of lemon yellow, and the delicate pink crab apple blossoms were stunning against the bright blue sky.  Daffodils and tulips had burst into radiant red and yellow like they were celebrating and bird song provided the soundtrack.  It was International Earth Day and Mother Earth was decking herself out in her finery.  My friend and I were walking down University Avenue in Toronto. to City Hall to join the International Earth Day March for Science.

I had mistakenly got off of the subway one stop early but since the day was so beautiful we just enjoyed the extra walk.  After all we had come to Toronto to walk and to join scientists and their allies from around the world to stand up for the evidence that science discovers in the face of the US president’s disregard for evidence which he calls "a hoax".  While he takes funds away from the Environmental Protection Agency, we were marching for Mother Earth on her special day.

Just then, I realized that we were about to walk past the US Embassy.  It sits on University Avenue surrounded by cement and metal stanchions that even go across the sidewalk.  The front door was open and a lone guard stood outside on the raised portico.   We had to weave through the stanchions to continue on our way.  They did not exactly form a wall, but that's what they reminded me of as they blocked part of the sidewalk. The US government had built a highly fortified building to protect those inside while disregarding the protection of the earth that it stood on.  

When we got to City Hall, people were gathering and strangers were already talking to each other and offering directions to things like the washroom.  The signs were interesting and creative and lots of people were wearing lab coats.  There were families with strollers, kids walking, parents, students, people on bikes and in wheelchairs, and grandparents.  It was hard to tell who were the scientists and who were the allies.

The walk in Munich, Germany

We were joining thousands of people from 600 cities around the world to speak up about the importance of science worldwide and particularly to support American scientists who are under attack from the current administration.    My friend`s daughter and her family were marching in Europe on the same day.  She texted pictures from that march while we were still marching and my friend texted pictures of us to her and to my daughter. We were marching for them and our other children and our grandchildren and their children who are not here yet. 

We walked past the university where I earned my Bachelor of Science four decades ago.  It would have been inconceivable then to think that scientists had to march to prove that their work was valuable.  We walked past the hospital where two of my children were born.  We walked past Sick Kids Hospital where I had rushed to with some of my kids in emergency situations.  We walked past medical research buildings that look for the cures for things like cancer which affects so many of my clients.  But we did not walk past the US Embassy.  Years ago when we protested nuclear war and marched for peace we always walked past the US Embassy.  It seemed no mistake that we were not allowed to do so anymore and the symbolism was rich.

As I walked I tried to imagine people all around the world marching for the same thing.  I tried to imagine how we were connected to all of those people by intent, by social media, by personal relationships but really because we were all children of Mother Earth and this was her day.  In my mind I imagined little dots of light all over the planet.  I imagined us being connected the way that tree roots connect with each other in a forest.  I knew that this was an unprecedented walk and that it followed in the footsteps of the recent and now historic Women’s Walk.  A few women were wearing the pink hats as a reminder of that.  This is uncharted territory on one hand and on the other it felt easy, friendly, cheerful and somehow normal to take to the streets for what we believe.  There were apparently 3000 of us in Toronto but the crowd was so cooperative and cheerful that it felt as celebratory as the tulips and daffodils.

At Queen’s Park, the site of the Ontario Legislature, we heard speeches from scientists who had come out of their labs and classrooms to become political. In fact, Josh Matlow, a Torono City Councillor said, “Science should never be politicized but scientists can become political.”  You can see a clip of one young female scientist rallying the crowd here. 

Dr. Dawn Martin-Hill addresses the rally

Men and women, young and old and of different races spoke. A number of young female scientists said they had never spoken in front of such a large audience before and they were obviously outside of their comfort zone but rising to the occasion.  One Mohawk scientist spoke about the need for science to join with Indigenous knowledge to solve the problems of our times.  Then her son who is Mohawk and Lakota, spoke about the two months he spent at Standing Rock where he took part in the peaceful protection of the water that is being threatened by the proposed pipeline and what he learned there.  Over and over again, the speakers reminded us of the importance of science in everyday life and for sound policy choices for protecting the planet.  Scientists who are often invisible made themselves visible.  They challenged us to also be visible and vocal and to work together to make choices based on evidence so that we can care for the earth and each other.

After the speeches were over, we walked through Queen`s Park on the way back to the subway.  I wanted to find the statue of Canadian poet, Al Purdy that I had heard about.  In the far edge of the park we found the poet`s memorial and there at the foot of it was a placard from the march that read: “What do we want? Data.  When do we want it?   Forever.” 

I wondered what Al would have made of all of this as his likeness sat looking in the direction of the rally.  So,when I got home I searched through his last book, Beyond Remembering  and I found his poem Fragment which seemed to sum it all up so simply:  

 I loved being alive

 to stand between the earth and sky
 in springtime

 a great organ played in your bones
 when earth moved
 under your feet...

          

Neighbours Helping Neighbours

Sometimes change seems very small, almost invisible unless you are watching carefully.  Like the tiny crocus leaves pushing up through the earth, at first they look inconsequential.  But given the right conditions, they will grow and bloom and be pollinated.  Their bulbs will multiply under the earth and create new life.  With the news so full of extreme behaviours from world leaders and people whose anger spills into hate, I find myself watching carefully for small things that bring hope just as I scan the spring soil for new signs of life.  Here are some of the things I found while looking carefully last week.

A friend told me that she was going to climb the CN Tower in Toronto to raise money for the World Wildlife Fund.  I thought that was pretty amazing since she is well into her sixties and has a disabled husband to look after a few hours north of the city.  But she has overcome several health concerns herself to run half marathons and feels she is ready for the challenge.

The next day I read an article in the Toronto Metro about the World Wildlife Fund Canada  in preparation for the fundraiser.  I paid close attention to it because my friend was taking part.  WWF-Canada’s CEO David Miller was spreading a message of hope.  Although environmental challenges are daunting, Miller says that everyone can do something to help, often in their own backyards.  “People want hope,” he says.  “They really want to be part of something and know what they can do to make a change.” (Toronto Metro News April 7-9, 2017)

People in the city can protect and restore the urban tree canopy.  This decreases temperatures and provides habitats for animals as well as being good for humans as well.  Another thing that people can do is to join with others to support conservation efforts through financial donations.  As well, Miller recommends planting native species in the backyard.  WWF – Canada has an In the Zone Garden Program that encourages people to grow native species for pollinators, birds, amphibians and small mammals. 

Miller suggests talking to your neighbours and acting collectively. Although these things seem relatively small, people can actually make a difference and when joining with others, that difference becomes bigger and bigger. 

Another article in the paper was titled “Our Coyote Neighbours”. The article said that cities are great places for coyotes to exist and that people need to learn to co-exist with them.   Coyote Watch Canada  is a grassroots charity that advocates for “positive wildlife experiences.”  On their facebook page they write.  “Coyotes forge lasting family bonds and are devoted parents. In a moment can one ponder that coyotes want the same things as we do; shelter, warmth, food, the ability to live freely without persecution to raise their families and to live an authentic life.” 

 The article said that Coyote Watch is holding information sessions in Toronto to help educate city dwellers on how to co-exist with coyotes by keeping garbage under control and supervising family pets.  They also caution people not to feed coyotes.  They have plenty to eat and prefer rodents and rabbits, thus keeping these species under control and playing an important part in the urban ecosystem.  

Our DNA doesn`t make us demons... just uniquely essential.

Coyotes in the city have often been feared.  Seeing them as neighbours who are part of the ecosystem that you live in is actually a big change in thinking.  And coyotes who are clever and resilient and able to live in close proximity to humans can teach us to co-exist, be resilient and take care of our part of the ecosytem as well.

The last article I read was about Snapping Turtles in Ontario.  After pressure from concerned citizens and conservation groups including the Ottawa Field Naturalist Club, the Ontario government has banned the hunting of snapping turtles.  The government website that asked for input on this proposed change received over 10,000 messages supporting the ban and only a few who were against it.  This let the government know that the public would support the legislation and it went ahead and made it law.  Sometimes, it seems that governments just need a little encouragement to take action.

Nesting female snapping turtle at the Wye Marsh Nature Centre

Snapping turtles like most turtles in Ontario are threatened.  And of course, now that nesting season is approaching, people need to make sure they don`t hit them when they cross the roads and highways.  Extra caution in nesting season is another way we can help these neighbours.

So, all these little things that we can easily fit into our lives get bigger when we work with others, either next door, locally, nationally or internationally.  We are certainly not powerless and there is no place for hopelessness despite the stories that we see on TV.  This story of neighbours helping each other, be they coyotes, birds, bees, turtles, trees or humans, is a story as old as the earth and it can still be our story here and now as well.

A Passover Storygift

An elderly Jewish man whom I have known for the past six years or so told me a story the other day.  After he told it to me and I told him that I really liked the story, he told me I could use it.   He gave it to me like a gift and so I am sharing this gift with you.

This successful business man is now into his eighties and has been dealing with two kinds of cancer for the past decade.   As he gets older, he is reflecting more on what is important to him and finding that this is changing as time goes on.

The other day, he realized that there was a message on his cell phone but he couldn't remember how to retrieve the message.  A few days went by and a younger man who is a whiz at technology and entrepreneurship came by for a visit.  The older man, David, asked him to help retrieve the message and the younger man Mahar did it easily.  The message was from a rabbi with whom David had been acquainted for many years. 

And so David called the rabbi who picked up the phone right away.  The rabbi was very happy to hear from David and wished him a happy Passover and good health for him and his family for the coming year.  Then the rabbi reminded David that he was always so generous supporting the rabbi`s school every year and he wondered if David wanted to do so again.  David happily made a sizable donation and after exchanging a few more pleasantries, they ended the call.

The young man was upset.  “Why did you call him back when it cost you hundreds of dollars?” he asked.  David told him that this was the only rabbi that talked to him.  He explained that now that he was older, he realized that one day he may need a rabbi to sit and talk to him or to pray for him and he wanted to keep that relationship going.  This was a different kind of investment.  This was beyond the young man`s understanding however and after a while, he left.

A few minutes after the young man left, David`s phone rang and he answered it.  It was the rabbi again.  He apologized for calling back so soon but he said that he had the feeling that David was the kind of a man he could ask for help.  “Of course,” answered David.  “What kind of help do you need?”

“Well,” said the rabbi,”I have a grandson in Israel who is dying of a rare condition and I was wondering if you would pray for him.”  David was surprised to hear a prayer request from the man who he thought would pray for him but he agreed to help.

Here were two grandfathers who knew what was really important in life.  They understood the treasure of grandchildren and the riches of health and family and community.  Life had not yet taught the young man about this and he thought that monetary wealth was the most important thing.

The story seemed to me to be the kind that a rabbi would tell to the congregation. I told David that this was the best story I had heard all week and that`s when he told me I could use it.  The story is a gift that I am sharing and because it is a gift I won`t unwrap it all for you.  Now it`s your gift and you can unwrap it for yourself.  The storygift can speak to you.  

We become the stories we hear and the stories we tell.  That`s what makes them so powerful. 

Water Walkers, Water Keepers

James Keating Elementary School in Penetanguishene, ON had its first ever Water Walk in March this year.  The event was organized by Aimee Grenier who is the Simcoe County District School Board’s First Nation, Métis and Inuit student adviser.  The Water Walk Celebration fit into the elementary curriculum that has been focusing on the importance of water for survival to all of life.  Grenier is quoted in the Midland Mirror as saying, “We need to have our leaders remember how sacred water is to our future generations.  As people, we need to remember that and do what we can to reduce consumption and our footprint.”

Photo Midland Mirror

The kids also participated in as water ceremony with representatives of two local First Nations; Beausoleil First Nation and Georgina Island First Nation.  They learned that water is sacred to Indigenous people and that we have a responsibility to take care of it.

As we Canadians begin the process of decolonization which may mean different things to different people, we are examining our unconscious colonial beliefs.  One of these colonial attitudes was that the land we now call Canada was uninhabited and the resources were infinite so it was okay for European colonizers to take as much as they wanted for as long as they wanted.  Perhaps that was how Europeans of that time thought about the place where we now live.  Perhaps we still think about the far north that way – uninhabited and ripe for the picking. However, it is becoming clear these days that resources are not always renewable or infinite and that species once gone are gone for good.  Scientists liked David Suzuki are telling us that we have to rethink the habits of waste and pollution.

The David Suzuki Foundation has been working for years on projects involving water such as the Blue Dot Movement.  At bluedot.ca we are asked to join 

107,503 Canadians in the blue dot movement “take action now to join the rising tide of people across the country who want our right to breathe clean air, drink clean water and eat safe food legally recognized at all levels of government. ”  The idea is to get local communities to get their municipal governments to pass declaration respecting people`s right to live in a healthy environment.  Then this movement can grow to provincial and federal levels with environmental bills of rights.  The goal is to finally have this right enshrined in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

In this same vein, the David Suzuki Foundation has partnered with the Council of Canadians to track the quality of drinking water on Canada’s Reserves.  In a their one-year report Glass Half Empty I learned that there are actually no laws or standards for water quality on reserves although these exist for all Canadians off reserves.  The federal government has said that it wants to clean up the drinking water on these reserves in a five year period but the report shows that the bureaucracy that has been created over the years is designed to retard this process and major changes need to be made to the processes so that clean water can be a right that all people in Canada share.

While we change our colonial ways of thinking that we probably weren’t consciously aware of, another process, another story is emerging.  That of indigenization, or taking Indigenous knowledge into our way of thinking is also happening.  In many parts of Canada it is Indigenous people who are taking a stand to protect natural areas and water especially.  In Anishinaabe traditions, women are the water keepers.  As those who bring life, they are also responsible for protecting the water.  There are Water Walkers, Indigenous women who spend the warmer months walking the circumference of lakes such as the Great Lakes and Lake Simcoe, taking part in ceremonies and showing their respect and love for the water.

For thousands of years, Indigenous knowledge was gathered from the land, from stories, from elders and the rest of life.  The people were part of it all.  All my relations, was how they spoke of the land, trees, plants, insects, animals, birds, fish, the moon, sun, sky, earth and the water.  The colonizers rejected this knowledge.  Today, the message of scientists is often one based in fear of what will happen if we don’t respect the water and the land.  People can only take so much fear before they start to avoid the fearful thing.   This is a heavy burden for children to bear.  However, thinking of all of life as our relations creates a sense of connection, abundance and family.  That is something that can motivate people to change their harmful actions and become more nurturing and protective.  In this way, indigenization can be a vital part of the solution to the problems that we face.

Although our governments tried for hundreds of years to eradicate Indigenous people and their knowledge they were unsuccessful.  And this knowledge is still here waiting to emerge and flourish at a time that we desperately need it.  It fits in perfectly with the knowledge that science offers us and we need both kinds of knowledge.  Together, they create a story of resilience and hope and this is the new story that will be the one our children and grandchildren tell.