Random Becomes Normal Acts of Kindness

What would I do?  That is the question that I kept asking myself after I read this story on the CBC website a few weeks ago.

Two teenage brothers in Montreal decided to do a social experiment.  The younger one dressed in jeans and a hoodie, sat on a Montreal street in the winter holding a sign made from cardboard saying, “14 years old, hungry, homeless, please help.”  The other brother filmed from across the street. Around 300 people passed by the boy.  A few gave money and two young men stopped to talk.  Then a homeless Inuk man approached the boy, took off his winter coat and put it around the shoulders of the boy with the sign. 

It turns out that the man, Putulik Qumaq has lived in Montreal for 17 years after following his mother to the city from Nunavut at age 21.  He lives in and out of shelters and is part of a community of homeless people in the city.  When later interviewed by the CBC, he said that those people all help each other so it was natural for him to help the boy.  He said that he knows how to deal with the cold temperatures, but here was a young boy who seemed to be in trouble and he wondered what he could do to help him.  (CBC News Posted: Feb 04, 2016)

                                             Random Acts of Kindness facebook page

The Azmeer brothers made a youtube video from their experience which reached people around the world.  Scott Vyse was one of those people.  He recognized the logo on the tuque that Putiluk was wearing.  It was from Northern Mat & Bridge, an Alberta based construction company that he is a managing partner of.  Scott was inspired by Putiluk’s generosity and decided to give what he could as well.  So he sent hundreds of the same tuques to the Open Door in Montreal where Putiluk and his community get food and warm clothing, as well as shelters in Calgary and Edmonton.

                                   

After hearing this story I wondered what I would do if I saw this young boy on the street.  I have raised four kids myself and yet I walk by people with signs and cups in Toronto.  What would I do?  The question stayed with me.

A week later, I was leaving the parking lot of No Frills after buying my weekly groceries.  As I approached the corner I noticed a young man dressed in a parka standing on the corner holding a cardboard sign that looking eerily like the one in the Montreal story.  It read, “Hungry, Homeless, God Bless.”  In my mind’s eye, I could see Putiluk walking over to the man and offering his coat.  So I parked my car, took some money out of my wallet and walked over to the man.  His back was to me so I had to call out to him.  He turned around and I handed him the money.  “Gosh,” he said.  “Get something to eat,” I said, ever the mother.  And that was it.  I got back in my car and drove home, unpacked my food and had lunch.

I know someone who gives loaded Tim Horton’s cards to friends for Christmas so that if they meet someone who looks like they could use a meal, they can give them one of the cards.  She told me that it doesn’t fix the world but it is something that can be done.

Later in the week I was at my office in Toronto and I went out to mail a letter without my purse.  There is an older woman who stands outside of the local LCBO every day with a cup.  She is very friendly and I have talked to her in the past.  She was dressed in a warm parka but it was mid-winter so when I walked past her I said, “It’s cold today, eh?”  She replied, “Yeah but it was colder yesterday.”  I mailed my letter and as I got it out of my pocket, I discovered some coins in there.  So on my way back, I put them in her cup.  She said, “Thank you.  And happy Valentine’s Day… and Family Day.”  I added, “And Chinese New Year!”  She laughed and replied, “Well the only ones I really care about are Christmas and Mother’s Day.”  So I assumed she had kids.  Then we stood and chatted about how long we left up our Christmas lights inside just to bring some cheer to the long winter.  Two older women chatting about how we cope with life. And then I returned to work. 

If you watch the news too much, it is easy to feel that all we have are problems, hate and fear.  It all seems too big to fix when it is presented that way.  Fear makes people pull in which only makes the problems grow.   Putiluk’s words about how the people in his community gathered and shared together to survive stayed in my mind.  He knew what it was to be cold on the street and so he empathized with the boy.    David Chapman, the assistant director at the Open Door talked about how people who have suffered hardship are often the most generous.  “Often, those who live on the street are people with really big hearts, and this is an aspect that’s often not seen.” (Sarah Leavitt, CBC News Posted: Jan 14, 2016)

I wonder how to have a big heart in the midst of all of this?  Perhaps by having the courage to empathize with others and offering whatever help we can.  Science has shown that when we do this, the person helped feels better and so do we and so does anyone seeing this happen.  It may seem like a small thing and on one level it is.  But on another level, doing what is natural – remembering that we are all in this together – is actually being part of the solution. 

                                   

When I shared this story with a friend, she told me the story of how she and another friend were having coffee in a café.  She noticed an older women sitting at the next table who kept counting her money over and over again.  So when the two younger women went to pay for their coffee, they also paid for the older woman’s.  “I felt great!” said the woman telling me the story.  Perhaps, the good feeling comes from remembering that we are all connected, that we can do something to help each other, that together, life can be warmer, even in a big city.

                                      Random Acts of Kindness facebook page

I later discovered that last week was Random Act of Kindness week on theRandom Acts of Kindness Foundation  facebook page where I found inspiring pictures and more stories. This will probably be a good place to visit on days when life seems too hard.  I guess the word “random” is used because the act of kindness is for someone we don’t know.  Not the normal kind of kindness for a friend or family member.  But when we start to think in terms of a global village, a global family, then the randomness becomes normal and new solutions begin to emerge.  Solutions we can all be a part of.