Monday 24 August 2020

Heart Healing Hawthorn

 

Anna’s breathing had become rapid and she could hear her heartbeat pounding inside of her ears as she reached the top of the long, steep, sandy trail.  She leaned forward, hands on her thighs and gulped in the air until her breathing slowed down.  Then she raised her head up and looked out from her high vantage point.  Georgian Bay spread out before her with its rocky islands and windswept White Pine trees.  The lake was dark blue as the wind swept it into waves that were too rough to reflect the low grey clouds racing over them.  Anna was glad for the wind that cooled her reddened face and brought relief to her aging body. 

Relief was what she was looking for, but not just from the strain of climbing the hill.  There was still a storm raging inside of her that needed attention.  She took the trail that ran north along the edge of the ridge.  She knew what she was looking for and within a few minutes she had arrived.  The tree before her was not very tall, yet it looked ancient.  The twisted grey bark on the trunk and the impenetrable maze of branches seemed daunting yet she had felt the pull of this tree from down below in the village where she lived.

This Hawthorn was in blossom and the leaves were just unfurled but still small.  Anna brought her nose to the five petaled white flowers and inhaled deeply.  She knew that this tree carried a substance that dilated the left ascending coronary artery that brought food and oxygen to her heart muscle.  After the climb, this might be a good thing.  She noticed as she breathed in that her chest felt tight.  That was not surprising, considering the deep sadness that gripped her heart and clenched her abdomen.  It had taken over her brain and her body and now seemed to be in charge of making decisions as well.  But, the Hawthorn had called her, over and over again and finally she had collected her will enough to make the climb.

Anna scanned the branches until she found one of the long sharp thorns.  She placed her thumb on the sharp tip and tested it.  It could easily draw blood.  She welcomed the sensation on her thumb.  It distracted her from the emotional pain inside of her.   Then, she dropped to her hands and knees and crawled very slowly and carefully under the lowest branches until she reached the trunk.  Twisting to look around, she found that there was enough space for her to sit with her back up against the trunk of the tree which she carefully managed to do.  From her new vantage point, Anna looked out through the leaves and flowers to the water far below and took some slow breaths in.  She imagined the oxygen in the air making its way easily to her heart.  She felt safe, hidden here behind the thorny wall of branches.  She understood why people had used these trees to create hedges instead of wooden or stone fences.  The old word for hedge, haeg, had become haw over time. 

Hearing a small rustle above her, Anna slowly looked up.  She could just make out the sticks and grasses of what looked like a Robin’s nest high above her.  The Robin’s tail feathers stuck out from the edge of the nest and she could see them moving as the Robin settled herself on what she imagined were turquoise eggs.  Anna wasn’t the only one taking refuge.

As she watched the Robin, her eye was drawn to a long piece of what looked to be red wool.  It was wound around a branch like thread on a bobbin and in the centre of this creation hung a tiny bell.  Anna knew that in Ireland, Hawthorn trees were called Wishing Trees and that people tied “clotties” made from cloth, wool and trinkets, onto their branches to make wishes, prayers and offerings to the Fairy people.  The Fairies were said to live under Hawthorns, especially those that grew on a hill.

Leaning her head up against the trunk, Anna closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the flowers.  Her chest still felt tight and the grief began to bubble up. Salty tears flowed down her face as she sobbed.  It felt as though it would never end, as though she would be heartbroken for ever as the feelings, unfettered now, flooded up in waves.  But, as was always the case, eventually, the waves died down and the crying ended.  Anna felt exhausted and broken open, so she succumbed to sleep, still leaning up against the Hawthorn trunk. 

She had only been sleeping for a few minutes when a large rock beside her began to move sideways revealing an opening into the earth.  Tiny people then emerged from this hole and began to climb up into the branches of the tree.  They were dressed in clothing made from leaves with flowers for hats and necklaces made from seeds.  Two of the young men climbed up into the branches where the red wool and the bell were wound.  They nimbly unwound the wool and dropped it with the bell to the ground.  At the tiny bell’s ring, Anna twitched her hands but did not wake up.

Working together, the other tiny people picked Hawthorn flowers from the branches and dropped them onto the ground as well.  Those that waited on the ground carried the flowers to an older looking tiny person who had a long hawthorn with a hole in it.  The piece of red wool was untangled and threaded through the hole.  One by one, she pushed the thorn through the centre of each flower, creating a string of blossoms.  When the wool was all filled up, the two young men each took an end and climbed onto Anna’s legs.  They made their way up her body until they reached her neck.  And there, they brought the two ends of the wool together into a knot, creating a blossom necklace around her throat.

That was when they both noticed at the same time, the silver earrings that hung from Anna’s ear lobes.  Silver had been formed into the shape of cedar needles and they shone in the light.  Giggling, the two tiny men walked along Anna’s shoulders and unfastened the earrings.  Gently sliding them out, they hoisted them over their own shoulders and began to make their descent.  Then they joined the others who were disappearing into the hole.  One carried the bell.  The silver of the bell and the earrings flashed one last time as the rock slid back into place.

Later, when Anna finally awoke, it took her a minute to remember where she was.  She had been dreaming about tiny people who poured out from a hole behind a rock.  They had been picking flowers, she remembered.  Putting her palm over her heart, she noticed that her chest wasn’t tight anymore.  That was a relief.  She also noticed something soft under her fingers.  Looking down, she saw a string of Hawthorn flowers around her neck.  She didn’t remember making a necklace.  Taking a deep breath, she felt her ribcage expand easily.  Her heart no longer ached.  She was grateful for that.

A movement of brown fur caught her eye and she saw a tiny Cottontail Rabbit sitting near her foot.  Anna sat very still and eventually the Rabbit hopped a little closer.  It began to nibble the grass and clover that grew under the tree.  Anna could feel her heart opening at the sight of this baby with its very large dark eyes.  She smiled as it stopped every now and then and twitched its soft nose.  After a few minutes, it hopped off out of view and she let out a quiet chuckle.

Anna stretched out her legs in preparation for crawling out of her sanctuary.  Carefully she got onto her hands and knees and made her way past the sharp thorns and pokey branches.  Once she was clear of the Hawthorn, she slowly rose to standing.  Brushing her hair back out of her eyes, she slid her hands over her ears and noticed that her earrings were gone.  “How peculiar,” she said to herself.  “I’m sure I wore the cedar ones today.  I must be getting forgetful.  I don’t even remember making this necklace, although it is very lovely.”

Shaking her head at her presumed forgetfulness, Anna stopped to pick up a walking stick to help her get back down the hill.  Her inner storm had crashed and moved on and her heart felt open.  That was magic enough for one day, she thought.  “And what a nice dream I had about the fairies!”  Then she stopped in her tracks and turned her head back to the Hawthorn.  “That’s funny,” she said to herself. “ I thought I heard a bell ringing.”  Laughing at her own imagination, Anna made her way back down the steep hill and through the village to her home where she made a cup of nettle tea to have with toast and hawthorn jelly.


 

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